LOTS of updates!

I haven't posted in FOREVER because my life has been crazzyyyy! I didn't know what busy was until I joined TFA. Wow. Ok, so let's start from the beginning. I got placed a few weeks ago to teach 4th grade at Toomer Elementary School. I didn't really know what to think going in because I didn't think my interview had gone very well and the principal honestly didn't seem very nice. Well as it turns out I couldn't have been more wrong! The whole staff at Toomer was SO welcoming, friendly and helpful! It's a great school with great people working there. I immediately made friends and felt like I fit right in. The only bad thing about working at Toomer was that my classroom was being used for storage when I got there and I couldn't do anything until all of another teacher's things were moved out into her new room (which included everything that goes in a classroom, tons of textbooks, supplies, FURNITURE!). So that was A LOT of work. It took two 10 hour days but I finally got my classroom in decent shape that would at least be presentable for parent open house that Friday. But alas, Tuesday afternoon bad luck caught up with me. Things just can't go that right. They just can't. So Tuesday afternoon my principal walks in and tells me that the district had made cuts to Toomer staff and that I was being leveled to another school, to teach 1st grade at Cook Elementary. I was DEVASTATED! There went the school that I loved, the awesome staff, all my planning for 4th grade and the classroom that I had worked SOO hard to build. I had to start all over. In another disaster of a classroom. Not to mention I had TFA training at night and had to start my planning all over again. I student taught 8th grade math. Would someone please tell me how I am supposed to translate that experience into teaching 6 year olds?! So I worked my butt off in the classroom and it started to shape up. This time I didn't make any friends and honestly didn't feel as welcome, so I was on my own. I'm starting to build a few relationships with people who have helped me keep my head above water, so things are getting a little better. The 1st week of school was rough. My kids are soooo cute and sooo sweet, but 6 year olds don't know how to act in school, and I HATE being mean to them. The stress of it all and hating how I feel pressured to be Ms. Erika MeanTeacherDrillSeargent basically culminated in a nervous breakdown Thursday night. I had been working 14-15 hour days, not sleeping enough, barely eating and never taking any time at all to do something that made me happy. I hated the person that I could see myself becoming and those feelings affected how I did my job and how I treated my students. I just wasn't being myself. The beginning of the school year has been pretty crazy. Surprise deadlines, double booked specials and cancelled assemblies have resulted in maximum stress (and 0 planning time) for me and disappointment for my kids, which is a recipe for disaster. But I need to step back and realize that there are certain things that are out of my control, but come hell or high water I will turn this around. I can control the environment of my classroom and my outlook on my job. After some practice I can control my effectiveness as a teacher and my behavior management of my students in a POSITIVE way. I won over a class full of 8th graders, I think I can get 13 6 year-olds on my side. And I don't mean to say that this week didn't have it's good moments. My students are so cute, and some of them are really behind and will take some extra work, but some of them are really smart! Some of them love to hug me and draw me pictures and bring me cupcakes and muffins. I also got asked "Ms. Diven, why are you light skinned?" haha! Ya know, funniest thing, I was born that way. Clearly, I am a minority, but I have no problem with that. All in all, I have to remember that this experience will be well worth all the hard times. My students are well worth it. So I teach 1st grade at Cook Elementary school and week 2 starts tomorrow! Wish me luck!

(Actually, I have a sub for Monday and Tuesday because I have training all day, but let's hope my first sub plans work well!)